Prince Harry’s hard-hitting memoir Spare gives the people everything they want and more

Like many others, I have been completely consumed with the narrative surrounding Harry’s departure from the royal family. Ever since the tell-all interview with Oprah, the world has been peering through the windows – both figuratively and literally – trying to dissect every little detail of the scandalous departure. 

However, this memoir wasn’t just airing dirty laundry from the past two years as many people have thought it would be. This book dives deeper into Harry’s mind than I could have imagined, talking about his mental health throughout his life, the unthought-of challenges he faces as a royal, and most of all, the egregious behavior of the press. While many are under the impression these struggles began recently, few people had even thought about Harry’s experience with his mother, Princess Diana, and with his time in the military, which were the main topics of parts one and two of the memoir.  

 The media’s assault of Harry didn’t start with his wife, Meghan Markle, which is a common misconception about the situation. While the racist, truly disgusting comments made about Markle and their child may have been the last straw, it most certainly wasn’t the first. 

Harry’s memoir reveals a lot about his struggles growing up; a lot of his memories of his mother involved running from the paparazzi (the paps) in fear, walking behind her casket at her funeral, and learning all the gruesome, horrific details of her death, which was likely a result of the paps’ endless chase after her. Harry always struggled with his mental health, especially as the whole situation with Diana unfolded.  

Even after her death, Harry lived in denial. He always theorized his mother had simply been in hiding. I can only imagine how hard this was for him. The denial was his way with dealing with it, but in the long term, it only made it harder for him. It didn’t help to have the eyes of millions watching him grieve. Even at the funeral Harry says, “I reached for my father’s hand, for comfort, then cursed myself, because that set off an explosion of clicks. I’d given them exactly what they wanted. Emotion. Drama. Pain.”  

The paps followed him his whole life, especially as the “naughty” brother. He never got a break from it, and I feel so sad to read about this experience. As a teenager, I could never imagine my every action popping up in the tabloids. People, especially kids, make mistakes, and every mistake he made was always going to be seen by millions. Being royal should not constitute a complete invasion of privacy. The benefits of being a royal don’t exactly outweigh the negatives. Aside from the constant photographing, they can’t have friends like normal people, or significant others without fear that the constant attention will chase them away. The royals suffer constant paranoia around everything they do, having to rethink every little move they make. 

Harry never got to live a normal life, even with his career. There were many times where his standing as a prince impeded his ability to truly serve in the military, which Harry addresses in the second part of the book. Most career options were nixed from the get-go by those at The Palace. He was held back from so many opportunities, and the army was the one thing that he was passionate about and was allowed to do. He was pulled from his tour many times because of the media, leaving him “crushed,” and even more so angry, saying “The press – they ruin everything, don’t they?”  

Because of the constant coverage of his life, his location was compromised on many occasions, revealing the location of many soldiers to the Taliban. The media could have cost Harry and many others their lives. The most dangerous rebel group the world may have ever seen was able to find the location of an army base because of the media. The Taliban even said, “Prince Harry was our target,” after an attack on a base led to the death of two soldiers and the injury of 17 more. The paps were putting so many people in danger just to make some money. It was entirely unnecessary and a truly alarming occurrence.  

The last part covers what everyone really bought the book for: the Meghan and Harry drama. Even after the Harry & Meghan documentary came out on Netflix, revealing the story surrounding their departure, people were still searching for more. What really caused them to leave? Is this separation irreconcilable? What’s next for the former royals? 

Harry manages to answer most of the people’s questions. Leaving the U.K. wasn’t a decision made on a whim; it was a long time coming. He and Meghan felt that their lives, along with their child’s, were in danger and were constantly surrounded by hate. Whether it was haters on social media, people within the Palace, or “esteemed” journalists, the Duke and Duchess were constantly drowning in hateful comments, especially those regarding “how dark” their son would be when he was born.   

 The more interesting part came after they left, though. Once the Palace and Harry had come to the agreement that they would part, The Palace pulled his and Meghan’s security. Harry describes it as “the ultimate nightmare,” because despite the fact that “the threat level for [them] was still higher than any other royal,” The Palace decided that they were not worth protecting anymore. Even in the privacy of their home on Vancouver Island, they couldn’t escape the constant abuse of the paparrazzi. Because the island was so isolated, the paps had to take out boats to approach Harry and Meghan’s property (which they did) and use drones to get overhead pictures (which they also did). 

Now that they have relocated to L.A., things seem better, but because of their standing, they will never live like normal people. Harry has always been told that his rights were to be diminished because of his title. This environment that we have all created through our curiosity and sometimes nosiness is toxic. People don’t see him and his family as human. I applaud the bravery Harry had to speak out about how he feels about this idea instead of conforming and accepting it as his family did. I do believe that by speaking out, Harry will inspire change for the next generation. It wasn’t just for the money; they are not struggling financially. Markle is a famous actress who appeared on a popular television show Suits for seven seasons. They do not need the money. 

Some also criticize Harry, calling him out on his constant media presence about the situation, but those people simply aren’t seeing the whole picture. Harry and Meghan are changing the narrative. They are controlling what is said about them because if they don’t, the media will make something up. They will never be out of the news, but by sharing their story, the people will be able to see what is true and be a little more aware of what they have been playing a part in for so long. 

As for the airing of family secrets, there seems to be a double standard. On one hand, Harry is being told that because he is a royal, the public has the right to know everything about him, but suddenly when something about anyone else’s life is out, it’s wrong. The actions of Harry’s family are part of his story, and if they didn’t want their actions to be shared with the world, then maybe they shouldn’t have done those hurtful things in the first place. Being a part of The Institution is no excuse to treat the people you love like they are expendable.