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Award Show Must Haves

Photo courtesy of CNN

Every award show needs a few things for it to be successful. All the big successful shows include at least three out of the five suggestions. So, here is a list of must-haves for anyone planning to create their own award show.  

1. Slightly disrespectful host 

An award show cannot be an award show without the host putting down an artist. Whether it is making fun of their appearance or laughing at their work, you cannot have a successful show without the host disrespecting someone! Make sure their jokes are as offensive as possible, and only appeal to old men. It will surely make your award show an enormous success! 

2. The same winners every year 

Diversifying winners at your award show can be detrimental! Who wants to see someone new win when we could just watch the same people win every award? It is truly a joy to see the same faces giving the same speeches after they win for the eighth time.  

Phoebe Bridgers (our chosen winner) posing with four trophies. Photo courtesy of CBS.

3.  Base it off popularity 

Make sure the few winners you do choose are the most popular ones. If they do not have a high net worth, they do not deserve an award. Plus, the fans will be so excited when they watch all the less popular people lose despite being better! 

4. Have commercials be longer than the actual show 

To make as much money as possible, add commercials whenever possible. Want to watch the actual award show for more than five minutes? Sorry! Let me tell you about the newest T-Mobile deal. It’s what the fans want. They don’t know it, but the commercial-show ratio is perfect to make them relieved when the show finally comes back on. 

5. Show an award every 30 minutes 

Waiting 30 minutes in between awards will make the audience more grateful when you show them. It will fill them with joy no matter who wins! It’s truly the best way to have a happy audience throughout your show. In fact, maybe you should make it every 45 minutes. The audience has had it good for far too long. 

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About the Contributor
Jenna Hawk 
Jenna Hawk , Staff Reporter
It’s Jenna’s first year on the print staff. Jenna participates in Spanish club and Green School club. She spends her free time reading, painting, or listening to Lana Del Rey. Jenna loves the cold and finds winter more enjoyable than summer. 
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