As the peak of spooky season approaches, stores are being piled higher and higher with bags of candy. From your classic Reese’s pumpkins and Sour Patch Kids to some more questionable favorites – soon jack-o-lanterns, yards, and children’s mouths will be littered with sugar. While some are happy with anything that lands in their hands, others find certain candies to be the scariest part of Halloween.
Among many experienced trick or treaters, most seemed to agree on one thing: Candy corn is the scum of the earth. Mathematics teacher, Mr. Downey, used one word to describe the monstrosity: “Gross.” He seemed repulsed by the topic even being brought up. Mr. Lyons provides a more in-depth explanation, stating, “Candy corn is trash. It is the texture of old pencil erasers.” It seems the sugary pieces packed with food dye aren’t the most appealing to some.
Students Kasey Conlon and Kaitlyn Hughes are allies with the corn, however. Conlon explains that candy corn can be enjoyed in a very specific manner. “I like to eat it so you eat one color at a time. I leave the little white part and save it for last,” she says. “It’s festive and fun, so if you go out of your way to hate it, grow up,” comments Hughes. While candy corn may taste like diabetes and chemicals, sometimes it feels like it must be enjoyed celebrating Halloween correctly.
Candy corn isn’t the only victim to the bottom of the bowl this Halloween. The infamous chocolate spheres, Whoppers, should be brought to attention as well. With their milk chocolate outsides and crunchy centers that seem to be reminiscent of spoiled milk, Whoppers are easily questioned. “I hate Whoppers, they’re gross… they taste like cheap advent calendar chocolate,” says Conlon. Mr. Lyons compares the malt balls to moth balls. While I’m sure moth balls would still win worst taste, Whoppers still play a similar role as they sit untouched for weeks, collecting dust, waiting for the good candy to be gone.
The next candy to be examined explains itself in its name: Milk Duds. This chewy caramel is in fact a dud every time. As they always seem to be stale and impossible to chew, these yellow boxes are sure to be the villain to many children’s teeth once again. “They’re just not where it’s at – give me a Snickers or a Twix, they’re much better,” says student Grace Koors. When choosing your caramel, it’s much safer – and more satisfying – to choose one of these options. Maybe the duds and dots should be left alone this time around.
As new candies continue to arise and become innovated, such as the popular Nerds Clusters and Trolly Worms, it’s safe to say that these older, classic candies may finally be reaching the end of their run. However, some real Halloween fanatics (like me) may just like any candy that comes their way – no disturbing flavor or texture will ruin my holiday. After all, Halloween is the season of disturbance and surprises.
