Thanksgiving Survival Guide

First, when getting dressed, ensure that you strategically choose a shirt long enough that will allow you to avoid anyone asking, “Did they run out of fabric making that shirt?” 

Second, when choosing your pants, you need to avoid any with rips AT ALL COST so nobody can make the famous, “Did you get those pants half off with all those rips?” comment.  

Next, you’ll need an emergency exit plan. You can’t use the “my grandma died” excuse because your grandma might get a little confused. Instead, maybe say a friend’s fish or hamster died.   

Be prepared with breathing exercises to ensure that nobody’s political comments send you over the edge.  

When you get to your Thanksgiving dinner, make sure to stay away from the creepy uncle who mixes all his food on his plate together.  

Remember to swap out your grandma’s pie that she made with her “secret recipe” and replace it with the store bought one from Costco.  

Ensure that you say your goodbyes immediately after dessert for a speedy exit of course!  

It can be tough getting through Thanksgiving dinner – good luck soldier!