In case you weren’t aware, Groundhog’s Day, a holiday signifying that winter is ending soon, is on February 2nd every year. It’s a stupid holiday because festivities only last about 5 minutes. No, I shouldn’t say festivities – it is a single festivity. Punxsutawney Phil. The namesake of this waste of time. The infamous groundhog. He pops out of his “burrow” (it’s really just a stump with a small door and his name plastered on the side) and tells us what the weather forecast for the next 6 weeks is. Newsflash Phil, even if you don’t see your shadow, the spring equinox doesn’t even start until March 19th. Just because you’ve been put on a pedestal your entire life does not mean you can control the weather.
![](https://fallstonprint.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/phils-house-428x600.jpg)
That’s another thing, there is no possible way that it is the same groundhog that’s been making predictions for 137 years. I don’t care how much “groundhog punch” or “elixir of life” the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club has been sustaining him with. The groundhog’s lifespan is up to 6 years, the average being 2-3. And even if he really were the same meteorologist groundhog that has been foreseeing the seasons changing for over a century, he’s not even good at his job. He’s only right 39% of the time. A newborn baby would have a better chance at guessing correctly than this oversized squirrel.
If he has as much experience as he claims, how has he still not learned what a shadow is? He’s seen it 107 times. On top of his incompetence, why would he be afraid of a groundhog-shaped figure when February is literally the start of groundhog mating season? Shouldn’t he be looking for a partner that he can “enjoy a good book” or discuss after “reading the daily newspaper” (two of Phil’s favorite activities according to the Punxsutawney Groundhog club) with?
I just don’t think it’s the kindest thing to do to get people’s hopes up with a prediction of warmer weather and ultimately disappoint everyone when you are inevitably wrong. Come on Phil, get your act together.