The Print

The Student News Site of Fallston High School

The Print

The Print

I Hate Punxsutawney Phil

The infamous Punxsutawney Phil at this year’s Groundhog’s Day celebration. Photo courtesy of Barry Reeger.

In case you weren’t aware, Groundhog’s Day, a holiday signifying that winter is ending soon, is on February 2nd every year. It’s a stupid holiday because festivities only last about 5 minutes. No, I shouldn’t say festivities – it is a single festivity. Punxsutawney Phil. The namesake of this waste of time. The infamous groundhog. He pops out of his “burrow” (it’s really just a stump with a small door and his name plastered on the side) and tells us what the weather forecast for the next 6 weeks is. Newsflash Phil, even if you don’t see your shadow, the spring equinox doesn’t even start until March 19th. Just because you’ve been put on a pedestal your entire life does not mean you can control the weather. 

Punxsutawney Phil’s humble abode. Photo courtesy of PA Bucket List.

 That’s another thing, there is no possible way that it is the same groundhog that’s been making predictions for 137 years. I don’t care how much “groundhog punch” or “elixir of life” the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club has been sustaining him with. The groundhog’s lifespan is up to 6 years, the average being 2-3. And even if he really were the same meteorologist groundhog that has been foreseeing the seasons changing for over a century, he’s not even good at his job. He’s only right 39% of the time. A newborn baby would have a better chance at guessing correctly than this oversized squirrel.  

If he has as much experience as he claims, how has he still not learned what a shadow is? He’s seen it 107 times. On top of his incompetence, why would he be afraid of a groundhog-shaped figure when February is literally the start of groundhog mating season? Shouldn’t he be looking for a partner that he can “enjoy a good book” or discuss after “reading the daily newspaper” (two of Phil’s favorite activities according to the Punxsutawney Groundhog club) with?  

I just don’t think it’s the kindest thing to do to get people’s hopes up with a prediction of warmer weather and ultimately disappoint everyone when you are inevitably wrong. Come on Phil, get your act together. 

Leave a Comment
Donate to The Print

Your donation will support the student journalists of Fallston High School. Your contribution will allow us to purchase equipment and cover our annual website hosting costs.

More to Discover
About the Contributor
Kasey Conlon 
Kasey Conlon , Staff Reporter
Kasey Conlon is a first-year member of The Print, contributing as a staff reporter. She is involved in other clubs such as Green School, Girl Up, Graphic Design Club, and the Drama Company’s Tech Crew. Kasey works as a lifeguard at the Fallston Club and in her free time, enjoys watching movies, TV, and immersing herself in other forms of pop culture. 
Donate to The Print

Comments (0)

All The Print Picks Reader Picks Sort: Newest

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *