If you’ve ever walked through the halls of Fallston High during passing time, you’ve probably wondered if you accidentally wandered into a zoo. Between screeching, climbing, and chaotic energy, it’s hard to tell if we’re students or wild animals. Backpacks swing like vines; kids leap down staircases like jungle cats, and the cafeteria sounds like feeding time in the gorilla’s enclosure.
Let’s talk about the classroom. You’ve got students grooming themselves mid-lesson, fixing hair, applying lip gloss, adjusting hoodies like they’re preparing for a mating ritual. There’s always one kid pounding on the desk like a silverback asserting dominance, and another one making noises that don’t belong in any human language. Group projects? Basically, tribal warfare.
To get a professional opinion, I interviewed Mrs. Barthel, a teacher at Fallston who used to work with primates for 7 years, “Honestly, the transition was easy,” she said. “In both settings gorillas can push boundaries just like students can.” She also mentioned that students tend to travel in packs and get aggressive when someone takes their seat or charger. “Students can be very social just the gorillas I worked with, and their social ranks can both be very complicated.”
The cafeteria is another story. It’s like a jungle watering hole. Students fight over tables, trade snacks like currency, and stare down anyone who tries to sit in ‘their spot.’ If you drop a fry, five people dive for it like it’s the last piece of food on Earth. There’s always one group doing a TikTok dance in the corner, which I guess is our version of a mating display.
Despite all this, Mrs. Barthel says she loves her students. “Students are smart and just as inquisitive as gorillas. If you give them snacks and a little attention, they’ll do amazing things.” So next time you’re at Fallston High, bring a granola bar, avoid eye contact during lunch, and remember we’re all just one skipped breakfast away from going full monkey mode.
