Fallston High School: a place where dreams go to die, and phones go to disappear. From the outside, it looks like a prison. From the inside… still looks like a prison, but with a lot more intramurals to pick from. Some say they hear screams after dark. Others say it’s just the angry squeals of the freshman girls when a teacher catches their phone hidden halfway down their leggings.
But what if I told you those screams were real?
Ricky Brown, our beloved head custodian, was tired of hearing the basketball team complain about spooky noises during late practices. So, being the legend he is, Ricky made a deal: he’d stay after hours to prove the school wasn’t haunted, just cursed with no Wi-Fi and horrible vending machines.
At around 11 p.m., Ricky was doing his usual rounds, probably kicked back with the latest episode of Dancing with The Stars, when he heard it. A buzz. Not a bee. Not a vending machine. A phone. But this wasn’t just any buzz; it was the kind of buzz that could shake the school’s foundation and possibly summon the School Safety Liaison.
Ricky followed the sound, clutching the walls like he was in a horror movie. The vibrations led him to a closet labeled “Teacher Storage, DO NOT enter.” So obviously, he entered.
Inside, Principal Steve Jones sat in a swivel chair surrounded by confiscated phones, each plugged into a giant monitor showing students’ texts, TikTok’s, and private story posts. He wore night-vision goggles and whispered, “They think they can hide… but I catch everything.”
Suddenly, Ricky heard screams from downstairs. He ran toward the chaos and found a group of freshman girls dodging laser beams and guard dogs, desperate to retrieve their phones. One girl cried, “My mom’s texting me about dinner!” Another screamed, “I just need to check my grades!” Jones knows better than to fall for those pleas.
Turns out, Principal Jones had installed a full-blown security system to protect his phone vault: motion sensors, night vison cameras, and three pit bulls. His mission? To terrify students into obeying the sacred law of Fallston High: From bell to bell there is NO cell.
But Ricky wasn’t having it. He grabbed his mop like a sword, rallied the students, and led a full-blown rebellion. Phones were rescued. TikTok’s were filmed. The guard dogs were bribed with Stuffed Crust Dippers.
And from that day forward, students knew: If you want to keep your phone, don’t hide it in your pants, pencil case, or lay it in your lap. Hide it in your soul and be ready to fight for your Snapchat streaks.
